a heart drawn in sand on a beach“But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners” -Romans 5:8 NLT

I used to think that I had to be perfect for God to love me and hear my prayers. This may sound ridiculous, and it’s a bit impossible, but by gosh, I was going to try! After all, the relentless perfectionist in me was always chasing after perfection in all things, faith included. Truth is, at the time, I didn’t know any better. This idea of having to be perfect is something I learned growing up. And I brought it with me in my faith.

There are a lot of people out there who believe God is angry at them. But nothing could be farther from the truth! It is a lie to believe that God is a harsh, rug-pulling jerk who can’t wait to teach you the hard way. Maybe that sounds a bit too much, but it’s probably right on for some people… I know, because I was one of them.

My problem was I loved God but didn’t really understand how He loved me and how to view and connect to Him. And I also didn’t know how to love myself. These two items together make for a bad recipe and a real powerful one-two punch. From my own experience, I believed you could absolutely love God and not yourself, and get all tangled and confused between the two and end up thinking God doesn’t love you. If you don’t love yourself, why are you going to think you are lovable to others, especially a Holy God? We’ll come back to this in a moment.

When Moses’ asked God to show himself, God responded “I will let all my goodness pass before you.” God is good. Why is that so hard for us to believe? Could it be we are imagining God to be more like our Earthly parents, or maybe a legalistic preacher or some other harsh authority figure? That’s who I used to think God was. Reflecting on how I saw God in my twenties and thirties, I believe we tend to view the Bible or God through the lens we were raised with.

I was raised with parents that both loved God, but probably didn’t understand so much about grace. I think they thought that works (doing all sorts of good things) were the way to God’s heart. And who could blame them, as some of the teaching and preaching they exposed me to said just that. It was incredibly legalistic in nature, lacking in grace, and not very kind. In fact, I remember being yelled at in church by the worship leader because we were’t singing fervently enough, or loud enough…or something enough?!? I was a teenager, at the time, and paying attention wasn’t my biggest strength 😉 I honestly don’t remember all the details but I do remember being yelled at! And moments like those stuck with me when I would think about God.

Another wonderful thing (note my sarcasm) I heard when I was young  was that if your life was in the crapper, well you are doing something wrong!  You probably don’t pray enough, confess enough, or give enough money to the so and so ministry, etc. etc. If that is the case, that through deeds and contributions and such, can we buy our way to God? Hmm, that’s an interesting tactic and no surprise, wholly unbiblical. To me, this mindset wrongly conditions us to believe that works alone will allow us to claim that spot in heaven! Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with good works — the Bible encourages them!!! But that’s not an accurate picture of God nor of how His kingdom works.

And honestly I believe that this ridged, harsh, legalistic and limiting view of God is not what God wants. How do I know what God wants? He tells us in the Bible. In Hebrews 4:16 it says: “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

Psalm 86 paints a beautiful picture of God kindness for us in verse 5: “O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help.”

Or 1 John 4:18: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

Some sources estimate that there are over 500 scriptures alone in the Bible about God’s love for us. I would encourage you to spending some time looking thru and meditating on them to gain a fuller understanding of how we are loved. These will help you to build your faith. It might also help you to better understand and love yourself, which it did for me, helping me to grow as a person.

I would suggest you ask God today what might be blocking you from Him? Is it a negative self-view? You think: I love God but His goodness is for OTHER people and not me as I am not worthy of it.  Or is it a negative view of Him? You might think: He’s punishing and harsh so I’d better stay in line…or stay away entirely!  Who’s telling you these things? I’m gonna go out on a limb here…and say not God! It could be the enemy, past or present influences on your life, or just your own negative, harsh self-talk. Either way…it’s not God.

With my upbringing, I actually fell into both camps:  a negative view about myself and a harsh, legalistic God. Yes, I read the Bible but the love part didn’t go into my heart. I thought that was for someone else, not me. But the Bible is for me. God’s love is for me. And it’s for you too! No conditions, no take backs, no gotchas! 

Something my woman’s pastor, Cheryl, said a few years ago really caught my attention. She said ‘If you aren’t reading the Bible as a love letter to you, then you are not reading it correctly’. I was blown away by that statement because sadly, I had never heard anything like that before in my decades of following Jesus. I have strived every day to understand a little more what it really means and how God’s love and grace apply not just to everyone else, but to me.

I read the Bible from a very different place now. And yes, I’ve worked hard at allowing God to heal me from childhood wounding that was blocking me from really seeing and understanding Him and His love for me. But I’ve also heard some amazing and very healing Biblical teaching at my church, which has helped to correct some of my errant longstanding views!

In my searching, God met me and helped me understand Him properly. He can meet you too, wherever you find yourself at today in your relationship with Him.

Pray and ask Him to tell you what He wants you to do/know/see to understand His love in a deeper way. If you want more information about how I healed from childhood wounds, please reach out to me.

Resources for studying scriptures about God’s love:

https://www.openbible.info/topics/god_loves_me

#DoesGodLoveMe #Faith #TheGoodnessOfGod #ChristianLife #GodsLove